Eyes Wide Open

Have you ever had a friend that, by their actions, showed you yourself? What I mean by this is your friend was like you at one stage in your life. I recently realized this. I was hanging out with a friend and she was doing things that I used to do while in a relationship a while back. I looked at her and I was like "God that was me!" I didn't say that out loud but I sure was thinking it. I then got in a bad mood because when I was like that I was not a happy, or nice person. I was mean and selfish I only wanted things to be what I wanted and if people did like that then well too bad. This is not healthy behavior. It was kind of like the "my way or the highway" kind of attitude. Well for me it was the highway. Also by looking at her actions I see why my ex broke up with me. I would have done the same thing. But that is beside the point. I also realized that she can be kinda rude. Like when we went to the mall the other day we no sooner set foot in the mall and she was making fun of these two girls...there was nothing wrong with them, but she felt the need to yell out "Anorexic!" really loud and a few times. I felt bad for the two girls and for myself, I was embarrassed. The girls were about as skinny as she is and she didn't like it when someone handed her a pamphlet on Anorexia. So what gave her grounds to yell that out to those girls? Who knows. I really think she has some self esteem issues. Well we continued our trip to the mall and I wanted to rest for a minute so I sat down and not a minute later this rather hefty guy came walking past and she was making gagging noises like she was going to puke and again I had to tell her to be nice because she wasn't being polite. I really worry sometimes about what she says about me when I am not around. I have learned not to talk about people because I have had my share of crude comments and they hurt. At about the time we were getting ready to leave we walked into Buckle and she couldn't find a bathing suit in her size, she then proceeded to talk rather loud about how all of America is fat and because we are fat it makes it hard for her to find a suit in her size. I was so upset about that comment because I am rather heavy and she was insulting me indirectly. I don't know how to talk to her about it I guess it is what it is. I just don't know. I needed to vent about it and I can't do it to the person that I should be venting to. So this is my vent!