Eyes Wide Open

Have you ever had a friend that, by their actions, showed you yourself? What I mean by this is your friend was like you at one stage in your life. I recently realized this. I was hanging out with a friend and she was doing things that I used to do while in a relationship a while back. I looked at her and I was like "God that was me!" I didn't say that out loud but I sure was thinking it. I then got in a bad mood because when I was like that I was not a happy, or nice person. I was mean and selfish I only wanted things to be what I wanted and if people did like that then well too bad. This is not healthy behavior. It was kind of like the "my way or the highway" kind of attitude. Well for me it was the highway. Also by looking at her actions I see why my ex broke up with me. I would have done the same thing. But that is beside the point. I also realized that she can be kinda rude. Like when we went to the mall the other day we no sooner set foot in the mall and she was making fun of these two girls...there was nothing wrong with them, but she felt the need to yell out "Anorexic!" really loud and a few times. I felt bad for the two girls and for myself, I was embarrassed. The girls were about as skinny as she is and she didn't like it when someone handed her a pamphlet on Anorexia. So what gave her grounds to yell that out to those girls? Who knows. I really think she has some self esteem issues. Well we continued our trip to the mall and I wanted to rest for a minute so I sat down and not a minute later this rather hefty guy came walking past and she was making gagging noises like she was going to puke and again I had to tell her to be nice because she wasn't being polite. I really worry sometimes about what she says about me when I am not around. I have learned not to talk about people because I have had my share of crude comments and they hurt. At about the time we were getting ready to leave we walked into Buckle and she couldn't find a bathing suit in her size, she then proceeded to talk rather loud about how all of America is fat and because we are fat it makes it hard for her to find a suit in her size. I was so upset about that comment because I am rather heavy and she was insulting me indirectly. I don't know how to talk to her about it I guess it is what it is. I just don't know. I needed to vent about it and I can't do it to the person that I should be venting to. So this is my vent!

Have you ever?

This is a blog entry about feelings. I guess random feelings, but feeling nonetheless.

Have you ever felt after meeting someone that you have known them for years, or in another life?

Well I have and it was just recently brought to my attention. I was asked one day how long I have known my "newly acquired friend" Liz and I replied, "We just met this semester, why?" Well the person asking stated that it seemed that we had known each other for a long time because we are really close and hang out ALL the time.

I was recently thinking about this when I decided to write this blog. It is strange how you feel really comfortable with someone after only a few meetings or just a few chats. Well this is how it was with Liz and me. I think the first time we ever talked was one day when I was leaving my English class and I walked past her and she said, "Hi" and waved to me. I recognized her from my Psychology class and basically from that day on she started sitting in the back row of the class with me and we hit it off like we were long lost friends from middle school or something. It was a nice feeling seeing as I was new to the school and hadn't made any friends. Since that day, about 13 weeks ago, Liz and I have been hanging out almost everyday, most days till 10 or so at night. Which is cool after a long day in school you just want to hangout and not think about homework or anything like that.

Liz calls me her BFF which is OK with me, I like having someone that I can talk to about anything and in return she can talk to me. She has also told me a few times that I am stuck with her and I have no choice around that, which is OK with me. We get along great and it really is like we have been friends for ever or maybe in a past life or something.

Well it is funny how things work in life, one day you go from losing everything to turning around the next day and having a BFF that is always going to be there for you no matter what.

It is great!!!